"Wow" 🅴

Two adult brothers, Ellis and Ben, are in their childhood bedroom. Their parents are selling the house and they’re supposed to be cleaning and boxing up what they want.

Ellis: I can’t believe our parents are making us do this. It’s been 12 years since we lived here. Pretty much every can be thrown away.

Ben: It’s kind of necessary. There are still things I’m be embarrassed if they saw we hid it.

Ellis: Agreed. Oh, dude, look at this!

Ellis finds an abandoned joint. He goes to the window and opens it up. Ellis starts to smoke.

Ellis: You want some?

Ben: No. I can’t believe you still smoke. “It’s your life” though.

Ellis: I can’t believe we’re having this conversation after all these years. Of course I smoke, it makes everything better. It makes it all a little easier like cheese falling off “a hot knife”

Ben: You were a bad influence on me growing up.

Ellis: Nothing has changed. Should you “call your wife?” You’ve been on a 90 minute schedule all day. The clocks-a-ticking.

Ben: Whatever. She’s working with a local synagogue today.

Ellis: When did you get religious? “Secular times, these times.”

Ben’s phone starts ringing. Ellis reaches for it first and looks at the caller name. Tossing it at Ben.

Ellis: Look at that. “My demon’s on the cell phone.”

Ben: Shut up. (answering the phone) Hey Hon. Yes, we’re still working on the cleaning and house prep. I’ll be here past dinner tonight. (pause) I know. I know. I’ll be there before 9pm. I’ve already told them I can’t work tomorrow because of the shower. (pause) Of course I’ll be there honey. (pause) Okay. I’ll talk to you later.

Ellis stubs out the remaining joint as Ben is on the phone mentioning the shower.

Ellis: That’s right the baby shower is tomorrow. You’re going to be a father soon. You ready?

Ben: No. It’s like my inner demons are always talking to me now. Telling me what I’m going to be doing right or wrong. But mostly wrong.

Ellis: “To your demons” I say, “nothing’s even right or wrong” yet. You haven’t had the ability to mess up the kid. Your wife on the other hand. Nevermind, “it’s irrelevant.”

Ben: (Standing up) Come one Ellis, what is wrong with you? Let’s address the “elephant in the room” before our siblingship “goes boom” and neither of use can take it back.

Ellis stands in return and they’re inches from each others faces.

Ellis: Ben. What are you doing? You look like you’re “standing on a line doin’ jiu jitsu.” We both know neither of us is going to actually physically hurt the other. It’s like we’re 15 again.

Ellis looks past his brother and pulls a rolled up tube off a high shelf behind him.

Ben: Is that?

Ellis: (unrolling the poster) Yes it is. It’s the “girl in the bikini with the Lamborghini shih tzu.” You want it?

Ben: I’m about to have a kid and you’re asking me if I want the scantilly clad lady poster?

Ellis: You’re going to need something to look at.

Ben: What is wrong with you?

Ellis: Nothing’s wrong with me. This poster doesn’t fit my current decor.

Ben: You have a bachelor pad. This probably fits.

Ellis: Oh Benny. It’s been a while since you’ve been single. You still have to have an adult apartment. My ladies are not going to be pleased if I have a model spread out on a car hanging in the bedroom.

Ben: Whatever, again, “it’s your life.” At some point you’ll realize that “you gotta try to get it right.”  Can we just finish up this so I don’t have to come back next weekend?

Ellis: You’re not having fun? (gesturing) “Look around. Don’t forget where you came from!”

Ben: It wasn’t perfect.

Ellis: Sure, but it is what it was and we’re having to remove it all. What do you want to do next?

Ben: In this room or with life?

Ellis: With life man. Who cares about this room? It’s sad, but no one has lived here since we left for college.

Ben: I have a lot of things I want to accomplish next, but I don’t know about it now that the kid is on the way. We only have about 4 weeks until life is completely topsy turvy.

Ellis: Hey. It’s your kid. Let’s enjoy “another perfect night.” In the future, you’ll be able to do whatever it is you want. Maybe you’re going to be a little sleep deprived, but don’t worry about that. Whether you like it or not, or your wife likes it or not, I’m here for you and my soon-to-be niece or nephew.

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