"My Body's a Zombie For You"

Zombie: Who am I? Well I think we want to discuss who I was. I was… give me a second, it gets harder to remember certain facts when you’re a zombie like me. (remembering) I was a welder! The last thing I remember before being someone who “can’t fit in this skin” is that there was a flash. Derivative I know. Some kind of nuclear war gone wrong type situation. Something didn’t go right and now there are a lot of zombies and we’re all trying to figure out what it really means to be in this state of dead-living.

Someone tried bashing in another zombie’s head like they did in the movies we all saw back when we weren’t like this. It didn’t work though. That person, errr, zombie came back and just doesn’t have a head… we’re all “worn and useless thin,” not knowing what is coming next or what to expect. I’d like to say that we can’t really see or hear or think, but after becoming a zombie “the size of the eyes” are much larger and our noses and ears are bigger too. Like your sense of sight is heightened, which doesn’t make sense, but I don’t get to make the rules here.

Actually, all my senses have heightened since I turned into a zombie. We all smell. I mean, all sorts of parts of everyone are rotting, so the smell is really bad. Don’t want to get a whiff of your neighbors. It’s emphasized by the “flies in the sky” that “make it hard to see” because there are so many of them. That’s with the better vision that we all have so really I need a bath. Would I disintegrate? I don’t know.

You’re interested in what’s missing, aren’t you? I would say love. Like I want to go up to a lady zombie or even a guy zombie, who cares and anyway I don’t have the same parts or functions that I did alive.

Zombie starts laughing and coughing at his pick-up line he’s about to state.

Okay, this would be my pickup line, “My body’s a zombie for you.” I’m killing myself with my jokes. I would say it as sweet as a lullaby. To be able to hold hands or walk side-by-side together. My lover would tell me, “if only you could enjoy the ‘smell of my breath’ or if I could feel ‘the blood in your neck’ I’d be the happiest!” That’s a vampire joke. Don’t worry, there is no such thing as Vampires. This is all hypothetical though since I don’t have anyone and I haven’t seen zombies pairing up, yet.

It’s been like, a year, maybe five. I’m not sure. Maybe one day I’ll find out if being a zombie is an eternity thing and can we find happiness somehow or I just hang out by myself for forever and a half.

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