"Malibu"

This post is part of a 3-part series. Part 1 - "California", Part II - "Malibu", and Part III - "California".

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Robin is sitting on the beach, a few months after moving across the country. Jules has recently visited.

Robin: What was that? "We watched the sun go down as we were walking" on this beach. Your hand kept brushing mine. How is it that you don't get it. "I'd spend the rest of my life just standing here talking" with you. It really was nice having you here. A part of me wished you were going to tell me that you changed your mind. That you were going to drop it all and come live here too.

We spent so much time acting like we were in the peak of the relationship. "You would explain the current" event du jour that was bothering you and it made me happy. Listening…"I just smile." Maybe me being in my head hoping was absolutely what I shouldn't have let myself do. "Hoping I just stay the same and nothing will change." I know I have changed and that frankly I should move on from you. I've moved so far forward in everything else.

But you said it to me before you arrived. Late on the phone that, "It'll be us." And it was even if it was "just for a while."

I have to know. Because you left and I'm very unclear what happened. "Do we even exist?" Are we a we?

Are we even friends?

You said you were happy with what we said the last day we were at the house. How could you have been happy? I was so upset. I didn't even mean half of what I said. I just wanted you to be angry. I wanted a reaction. My mom had this stupid saying that I didn't understand until you left. "That's when I make the wish to swim away with the fish." She always had fish metaphors. For EVERYTHING. But I get it. You were stressed and would rather be alone than work it out with me. You just wanted to get away.

So now you have.

My god it's hot out here. "Is it supposed to be this hot all summer long?"

No one told me California would be this hot all of the time. I miss the seasons. Maybe if someone had told me "I never would've believed" it. I mean "if three years ago you told me" I would be in California doing the one thing I absolutely wanted, that I love, I wouldn't have believed "I'd be here” either.

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