"Sweet Disposition"
Melody is at the outdoor community pool with a few of her close friends. Her friends are in the pool and have been for a while now while she’s sitting on her towel at the top of the hill.
Melody: When are they coming back so we can leave and grab dinner? They know I don’t swim. Why did I even come today?
Melody puts her head on her knees and rocks back and forth, bored.
Melody: I know why. Because of Julie’s “sweet disposition.” Everyone kept telling me that it was “never too soon” to let her know of my interest. I can’t make myself do it. “Oh” this sucks. She’s out there with everyone, having a good time and I’m stuck here because I don't have enough or really any “reckless abandon.” On top of this crush, is work, some bills I need to figure out and I don’t know how I'm going to do it all. Need to learn to set boundaries. That won’t be today.
Melody stands up and starts a slow sway that gains in pace to be an improvised dance.
Melody: They say “dance ‘like no one’s watching you.’” So that’s what I’ll do while I wait for everyone else to have their fun. Wait for my “moment” to do something with the group that I really like to do too. Probably should have told them sooner that I don’t swim. No point just dipping my toes in when no one wants to stay with you near the edge of the pool. Waiting On “a Love” should be the title of my autobiography. Always waiting for people to come to me.
Is it normal to “dream aloud” and talk to yourself? I feel like I do this way more than any normal person. Daydreaming about “a kiss” or the last good “cry” I had. What’s happening to “our rights” and “our wrongs” are all in those musings. Daydreams don’t have to be positive. It’s just the thoughts you’re having during the day, I mean even at night before you fall asleep, that “moment” you think about “a love” or something not really all that pleasant. It doesn’t have to be positive. I would say those are all daydreams.
It’s great to “dream aloud” and not worry. It’s so great to “stay there” in those moments. That’s really what I should do. Take swimming lessons so that next time I feel comfortable at least on the shallow end and with enough time “I’ll be coming over” to the deep end. That would be good “while [my] blood’s still young.”
Better put that on the to do list.
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