"Nothing to Worry About" 🅴

Friend A is working at their computer with headphones on. Friend B comes in and starts talking, but doesn’t even pay attention to the fact that their friend doesn’t even know they’re in the room.

Friend B: There are some really strange things happening to me recently! First, my best friend isn’t calling me back. I mean yooooo we’ve known one another since college. I don’t know what they’re up to, but I can’t believe they’re not calling me back. Second, that date I went on a few days ago wants nothing to do with me anymore. Third, this new project I’m working on isn’t making money the way I know it’s supposed to. It has to be manufacturing’s fault. I’m going to rip them a new one! Fourth, my manager called me to his office today and told me that I’m becoming too much of a liability. Me? A liability? I am so good at what I do that it doesn’t matter if I step on a few toes. Fifth…

Friend B finally turns around and realizes Friend A hasn’t heard a thing.

Friend B: Yo!

YO!

HEY!

Friend A looks up, and annoyed, takes off the headphones.

Friend A: What?

Friend B: I’ve been telling you about my day.

Friend A: And I wasn’t finished working. Can it wait?

Friend B: No. My life is over. There’s so much shit happening to me.

Friend A: You’re being “negative. Why always so negative?”

Friend B: There are a lot of bad things happening.  

Friend A: “If you have problems,” and based on what you’ve talked about recently, there are many, “why don’t you go solve them?”

Friend B: What?

Friend A: Verbally “beat me up” for saying this all you want. This many bad things don’t just happen. No one is so unlucky. You need to look at these situations one by one and figure out what is wrong and how they can be fixed. “At least you won’t be out of touch.”

Friend B: It isn’t my fault. These things happen to me.

Friend A: That’s the thing about life. You have some control over yourself and what you can accomplish. It’s not good to just complain all the time and fish.

Friend B: “If you’re such a poet,” why aren’t you getting your work accepted in journals and shit. You’ve been trying for 4 years and you haven’t landed one piece.

Friend A: We’re not talking about me. So you can get rid of that attitude. If you want to change you have to use your head, “use your tongue, and show it.”

Friend B: Why are you being a jerk?

Friend A: I’m not trying to be. I want you to be okay and I want you to not hate your life regardless of what is happening. Life is more than just some miserable existence.

Friend B: What do you suggest?

Friend A: What’s the least annoying part of your life?

Friend B: The new project. Getting the manufacturer to get me the right rugs.

Friend A: So you want to “do this thing.” Have you ever worked in “this type of thing?”

Friend B: Not like I am currently doing. I did some third-party object sales some years back, but this is different. I have to “put a little money in this type of thing.”

Friend A: What is it that you believe they’re doing wrong?

Friend B: They’re doing things too slowly for the amount of money I’m paying them.

Friend A: Do you know why?

Friend B: No. I’m just angry it’s not working on my schedule.

Friend A: Well you should ask. What if they didn’t think you needed the quantity you asked and are struggling to keep up or they have another buyer who has a shipment needed sooner than yours.

Friend B: I didn’t think of that.

Friend A: Until you hear directly you should stress less. You’ve “got nothing to worry about.”

Friend B: “I’ve got nothing to worry about” until I really know. Yeah, that’s good. I’m going to go call them now.

Friend B leaves immediately.

Friend A: (rolls eyes) You’re welcome.

Friend A resumes his original position on stage.

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