"The Graveyard Near The House"

This post is part of a series: Part I, “If We Were Vampires,” Part II, “Psycho Killer,” Part III, “The Graveyard Near The House,” Part IV, “Don’t Trust Me,” Part V, “Oxford Comma,” Part VI, “I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For.”

~

Jimmy (a werewolf) and Julia (a mummy) are at the kitchen table. They’re using hushed voices as to not disturb Mun.

Jimmy: How long is Mun going to sleep?

Julia: He didn’t get a lot of sleep last night. You didn’t hear him come in at 2am?

Jimmy: (loudly) He did what?!

Julia: Shhhhh. He had a really bad night at Sy’s. That kid is bad news.

Jimmy: It’s because he’s a human. Remember “the other day when we were walking by the graveyard near the house.”

Julia: Yes, and “you asked me if I thought we would ever die?” 

Jimmy: Yes, because I want to ask if we can move the date of the wedding up to this year?

Julia: We have eternity. 

Jimmy: I know we do. “If life and love both fade so predictably” even if we’re of different monsters I just want us to tie the knot finally.

Julia: I like what we’ve done with our lives. And Mun loves you so it’s not like you have to win him over. “We’ve made ourselves a kind of predictable” life.

Jimmy: It’s more like a “predictable lie.” This neighborhood has no idea that we’re monsters. Luckily we can hide it, but what are we going to do as Mun gets older.

Julia: Well unfortunately for him he can’t really age and being 12 sucks perpetually. 

Jimmy: Well “I pictured us like corpses lying side by side in pieces in some dark and lonely plot under a bough.” 

Julia: How sweet. “We looked so silly there” ready to pretend to buy a plot for when we pass. It’s like when people look at houses they’ll never be able to afford. 

Jimmy: Well the people will all be “decomposed, half turned to dust in tattered clothes,” while we are drinking wine by the Rhine. 

Julia: “We probably look just as silly now.”

Mun walks in, sleepy.

Mun: Can I have grilled cheese for lunch?

Jimmy: Look who finally woke up.

Julia: We need to talk about you walking back here at 2am.

Mun: I’m sorry. But Sy made a comment that I couldn’t stand and I just wanted to come home. 

Julia: What did he say?

Mun looks at the ground, embarrassed. 

Jimmy: What’s with “all this dog-eared innocence?”

Julia: Jimmy. 

Mun: “I can’t pretend that I can tell you what is going” on. You wouldn’t understand. 

Jimmy: Try us. 

Mun: (sighs) He made jokes about teepeeing a house knowing well that’s really messed up.

Julia: Do I need to talk to his parents?

Mun: No. I don’t want to hang out with him anymore. 

Julia: Okay. I don’t know what is “going to happen next or how to be”have, but you’ll be fine and have definitely heard worse in years before. 

Jimmy: Wait you’ve let someone know you’re a mummy?

Mun: Yeah, we have witches and werewolves and humans and pixies and goblins and I think we have a zombie, but no one has asked her.

Julia: I’m sure it wouldn’t matter what they are.

Jimmy: Wait can we go back to the part that we don’t need to hide?

The music and video above is owned by the artists and their record labels, as applicable.